A freshman student of our University was stabbed to death last Friday night on her way home. Her parents only found out about it this morning when her father went to the dorm to give his daughter her allowance, and found out she had left Friday to go home.
She was stabbed eight times, and her wallet and cellphone were gone.She's a first year student taking up BS Biology. She hasn't even been in this University for more than a month. She had her whole life ahead of her.
What kind of inhumane creatures would do something like this?
Monday, June 27, 2005
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Haven't had a good rant in a while...
I love my mother so much. She has struggled so much for me all these 28 years...and even before, back in the time when she was still pregnant with me. But from time to time, she has been driving me nuts. And she drove me raging yesterday.
I haven't had a decent vacation this summer yet. The only one about to come will be next week...after I have long tried to make time for it. I will be going to Siargao...just one decent vacation. And she raised hell about it last night all because the maid is going away for the weekend. What did she say? "Sige, lumayas na kayo lahat." Damn it.
I'm not doing anything bad, as far as I know. I still do the responsibilities I have back home. I leave everything I have to do once she needs me. Hell, I even slipped out of an office activity where people were relying one me [and one activity where the big people were there i.e. the Chancellor, the Vice-Chancellor for Acadmic Affairs, the University Librarian, the Dean of the College, the Department Chair] all because she got mad that there was no food waiting for her at home all because the maid decided to leave without leaving something for her, and I had been at work since early morning. I bought her dinner, went home, waited for her, then left once she was done with dinner. Did she even consider the fact that I abandoned my responsibility at work because of her? Fuck, no.
My mother doesn't think my job is important. She can't see why I need to be at work even after my classes are over. Hell, my official work hours are 8 hours daily, like any other employee. It just so happened that I'm not tied to the dictates of the bundy clock. It's not my fault my working hours are such. From the moment I entered UP, it has always been like that.
I love my work, but she doesn't think I should be working too hard because I do not have additional pay. I'm a government employee, for chrissake! Salary increases for workers like me is a national issue.
My mom thinks that if I don't go to work, nothing much will be affected. Kasi, nagtuturo lang naman daw ako. Hell, I don't even want to remember she was also a teacher before.
She thinks my work is not as important as her work...because her whole damned office will not function if she's not around. Her people rely on her, she's needed, but the world will still go on. It's not like the whole department store will stop operations just because she's not around.
I love my job. I love my job so much because it had become a vocation for me, not just a source of income. I love my job as much as she loves hers.
She wants me to go abroad to seek the proverbial greener pasture. I don't want to go abroad to work. Call me pathetic, but would feel so ashamed of myself for turning my back on my country after all the efforts that the taxpayers have gone through to send me to school. I do not--would not--condemn others who would want to work overseas, but staying here is what I want.
Right now, I'm on a journey to look for an online partner for my mother. Partly, I need to get her off my back. Mostly, I think a companiion would do her good. I cannot be around forever for her.
I could've moved out a long time ago if I wanted to. After all, I'm already 28 freakin' years old [same age she was when she gave birth to me]. Yet I didn't move out not because I can't afford it. I didn't move out not because I couldn't get married yet. I didn't move out because I wanted my freedom.
I didn't move out because I wanted to be with her. I didn't move out because I want to spend time with her before I get married two years from now. I want to spend as much time as I could with her because we both know my priorities will change once I start my own family.
But sometimes, she makes me feel I regret my decision to stay.
Mom, I'm not a child anymore. I will tell you where I would be going and stuff so you will know where I am, not because I'm asking for you to grant me permission.
I admit I can fall down, but I know I can rise because you taught me to. I can make decisions for myself which I may regret, but from which I can learn. I don't need someone to hold my hand whenever I walk because I already know how to. But I NEED someone who will keep an eye on me just to see if I can make it on my own.
I'm not a child anymore. Please, let me live my age.
I haven't had a decent vacation this summer yet. The only one about to come will be next week...after I have long tried to make time for it. I will be going to Siargao...just one decent vacation. And she raised hell about it last night all because the maid is going away for the weekend. What did she say? "Sige, lumayas na kayo lahat." Damn it.
I'm not doing anything bad, as far as I know. I still do the responsibilities I have back home. I leave everything I have to do once she needs me. Hell, I even slipped out of an office activity where people were relying one me [and one activity where the big people were there i.e. the Chancellor, the Vice-Chancellor for Acadmic Affairs, the University Librarian, the Dean of the College, the Department Chair] all because she got mad that there was no food waiting for her at home all because the maid decided to leave without leaving something for her, and I had been at work since early morning. I bought her dinner, went home, waited for her, then left once she was done with dinner. Did she even consider the fact that I abandoned my responsibility at work because of her? Fuck, no.
My mother doesn't think my job is important. She can't see why I need to be at work even after my classes are over. Hell, my official work hours are 8 hours daily, like any other employee. It just so happened that I'm not tied to the dictates of the bundy clock. It's not my fault my working hours are such. From the moment I entered UP, it has always been like that.
I love my work, but she doesn't think I should be working too hard because I do not have additional pay. I'm a government employee, for chrissake! Salary increases for workers like me is a national issue.
My mom thinks that if I don't go to work, nothing much will be affected. Kasi, nagtuturo lang naman daw ako. Hell, I don't even want to remember she was also a teacher before.
She thinks my work is not as important as her work...because her whole damned office will not function if she's not around. Her people rely on her, she's needed, but the world will still go on. It's not like the whole department store will stop operations just because she's not around.
I love my job. I love my job so much because it had become a vocation for me, not just a source of income. I love my job as much as she loves hers.
She wants me to go abroad to seek the proverbial greener pasture. I don't want to go abroad to work. Call me pathetic, but would feel so ashamed of myself for turning my back on my country after all the efforts that the taxpayers have gone through to send me to school. I do not--would not--condemn others who would want to work overseas, but staying here is what I want.
Right now, I'm on a journey to look for an online partner for my mother. Partly, I need to get her off my back. Mostly, I think a companiion would do her good. I cannot be around forever for her.
I could've moved out a long time ago if I wanted to. After all, I'm already 28 freakin' years old [same age she was when she gave birth to me]. Yet I didn't move out not because I can't afford it. I didn't move out not because I couldn't get married yet. I didn't move out because I wanted my freedom.
I didn't move out because I wanted to be with her. I didn't move out because I want to spend time with her before I get married two years from now. I want to spend as much time as I could with her because we both know my priorities will change once I start my own family.
But sometimes, she makes me feel I regret my decision to stay.
Mom, I'm not a child anymore. I will tell you where I would be going and stuff so you will know where I am, not because I'm asking for you to grant me permission.
I admit I can fall down, but I know I can rise because you taught me to. I can make decisions for myself which I may regret, but from which I can learn. I don't need someone to hold my hand whenever I walk because I already know how to. But I NEED someone who will keep an eye on me just to see if I can make it on my own.
I'm not a child anymore. Please, let me live my age.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
You really piss me off...
Alam ko may pinariringgan ka. Nakakainis ka. I hate the way you try to twist my words and make them come out as your own. "I don't know how to talk to other people anymore." Blah! Weren't those my approaching words to you? May ginawa ka ba? Wala...except copy my words and put them in your mouth as your own.
As much as possible, I would not want to deal with this or with you anymore. Nahihirapan sa atin si Bhex because she's torn. I don't want her to go through the burden of trying to make us agree on something because God knows she has a lot in her hands.
Yes, I know it's a very strong thing to say, but, yes, I do hate you.
As much as possible, I would not want to deal with this or with you anymore. Nahihirapan sa atin si Bhex because she's torn. I don't want her to go through the burden of trying to make us agree on something because God knows she has a lot in her hands.
Yes, I know it's a very strong thing to say, but, yes, I do hate you.
Monday, April 25, 2005
I have been quiet for a long time now...
And I just have to say this to you.
If you are going to greet me a happy birthday with all the trimmings of excuses because this happened to you...or because you couldn't reach me [which really is just plain bullshit, anyway...but more on that later]...or because of whatever alibi you could pull out of your hat, please lang, DON'T BOTHER SENDING ME A GREETING because it wouldn't take a magi to realize there's nothing sincere about it.
You said you couldn't text me because you lost your contacts when you lost your phone last year and you couldn't get them back. You have Bhex's number. Did you ask her? I didn't think so. For crying out loud, your brother has my number! Would it take THAT much effort from you to at least ask me "Hoy, ano nga ba number mo" through y!m? Kelan lang ba nagloko ang y!m mo?
I wasn't demanding for you to greet me, but if you perceive what you did to be some act of "kindness", just forget it because it's obviously not. Even a stupid person would know that.
I did thank you because I wouldn't want to be bastos. But what you did even before I said thank you, binastos mo na ako.
Kaya please lang, next time, don't bother.
If you are going to greet me a happy birthday with all the trimmings of excuses because this happened to you...or because you couldn't reach me [which really is just plain bullshit, anyway...but more on that later]...or because of whatever alibi you could pull out of your hat, please lang, DON'T BOTHER SENDING ME A GREETING because it wouldn't take a magi to realize there's nothing sincere about it.
You said you couldn't text me because you lost your contacts when you lost your phone last year and you couldn't get them back. You have Bhex's number. Did you ask her? I didn't think so. For crying out loud, your brother has my number! Would it take THAT much effort from you to at least ask me "Hoy, ano nga ba number mo" through y!m? Kelan lang ba nagloko ang y!m mo?
I wasn't demanding for you to greet me, but if you perceive what you did to be some act of "kindness", just forget it because it's obviously not. Even a stupid person would know that.
I did thank you because I wouldn't want to be bastos. But what you did even before I said thank you, binastos mo na ako.
Kaya please lang, next time, don't bother.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Just less than 3 weeks from now...
I used to be very excited at the very idea that my birthday is just around the corner. Call me egocentric, but my birthday is my favorite holiday. No, I am not so sure.
The boyfriend will be in Manila for his stupid annual convention with that stupid girl. It's not like he has never been there before. He can just as well miss it, but no, he'll go there. What hurts is that I know he will never choose me over it because I'm not at the top of his priorities. I should've just made myself invisible on his birthday last Tuesday so he'll know what it feels like.
I'm so mad and irritated and to get back, I just want to bury my mobile phone dead the moment he leaves this place. Then I would screw any guy I would meet. Tingnan lang natin.
The boyfriend will be in Manila for his stupid annual convention with that stupid girl. It's not like he has never been there before. He can just as well miss it, but no, he'll go there. What hurts is that I know he will never choose me over it because I'm not at the top of his priorities. I should've just made myself invisible on his birthday last Tuesday so he'll know what it feels like.
I'm so mad and irritated and to get back, I just want to bury my mobile phone dead the moment he leaves this place. Then I would screw any guy I would meet. Tingnan lang natin.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Mahirap talagang kumita ng pera...
Sa tatlong taon na paghahanap-buhay ko dito sa UP, ngayon lang ako nagtrabaho ng holiday...walang bayad. [Sige lang, may clothing allowance naman daw.] I worked holidays when I was still with SMC...but that's a department store. Di uso ang holiday dun.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
The storm has passed...
Everything's okay now...or so I hope. Nagkausap na tayo. I was finally able to vent out the things that I have keeping within me for such a long time now. Nalaman mo na rin kung bakit ako nasaktan. Sana okay na nga lahat.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
now what?
I was just chatting with your mom, then you suddenly sent me a message saying you have to go and will talk to me later. Bakit na naman ba? You want to make me suffer even more?
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
my town...
it's amazing what a bit of research can do you for. i was just trying to research on anything about the colonial history of meycauayan for a friend, then i stumble onto some great things myself. things that i have always taken for granted, like the meycauayan parish and the small chapel at malhacan, are in fact, are centuries old. then memories of my past came rushing back into my mind: the bahay na bato that i always pass by whenever i go to balagtas...the churches [or even the belfrys] of sta. maria, bocaue and marilao...the markers...almost everything.
perhaps i should be ashamed that it's only now that i get to be fascinated by the history of meycauayan. i had always thought it was a small town. now i learn it's in fact one of the earliest towns established in bulacan...dating to the spanish colonial time.
perhaps i should be ashamed that it's only now that i get to be fascinated by the history of meycauayan. i had always thought it was a small town. now i learn it's in fact one of the earliest towns established in bulacan...dating to the spanish colonial time.
Friday, March 04, 2005
The changing face of sadism...
In the past, sadism only referred to sex and pleasure. [No need to elaborate. I'm sure you know what I mean.] Now, it has come to have a whole new definition for me.
When you take in sick joy in the misery of others, you become a sadist. When you act nonchalant at the misery of others, you become a sadist. When you don't give a fickung damn, you become a sadist. When you adamantly refuse to acknowledge that you caused that misery, you become a sadist.
Buti sana kung di mo kilala yung tao. Okay lang. Paano kung kaibigan mo? Don't you become a sadist yourself?
I can name two people who have become my own sadists. But I'm not a masochist. I fight. But I just drove one of them away.
When you take in sick joy in the misery of others, you become a sadist. When you act nonchalant at the misery of others, you become a sadist. When you don't give a fickung damn, you become a sadist. When you adamantly refuse to acknowledge that you caused that misery, you become a sadist.
Buti sana kung di mo kilala yung tao. Okay lang. Paano kung kaibigan mo? Don't you become a sadist yourself?
I can name two people who have become my own sadists. But I'm not a masochist. I fight. But I just drove one of them away.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Looking up...
Things have been very, very hectic...and things seem to be looking up. I'm looking forward to them, despite the hectic life I'm about to face.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Cheering...
My cousin Denz passed the UPCAT. Yay!!! He'll be taking up BS Biochemistry at UP Manila. Galeng! Sana pumasa din siya sa DOST exam.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Achieving...
Achievements so far...
...won Best Female Performer at the Faculty Follies
...finished my part in the curricular changes
...made friends [naks!] with a key person in the US Embassy
...and more
...right
:)
...won Best Female Performer at the Faculty Follies
...finished my part in the curricular changes
...made friends [naks!] with a key person in the US Embassy
...and more
...right
:)
Monday, February 21, 2005
Drowning...
Work is officially becoming very, very demanding. Okay lang; at least we get to be recognized. I just hope the BACA revisions would be approved without much problems.
Friday, February 18, 2005
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